Back For Good!!!

Oh well, one would wonder why the enthusiasm that compelled me to start this blog was short lived. I will answer you. As you may already know if you have read my very first post on the blog, the break-in that occurred in my hostel room served as inspiration. There was no other break-in and i stopped blogging as there was nothing to talk about. hahaha! don't mind me o! school work was just on my head, neck, stomach and i am extremely bad at managing too many activities at a time so i took an overdose of chill pills, laid my hands off this for a while but now THIS IS I.
I want to always take my time to talk about what interests me. To be quite honest, after my first post i went scouting for the best things to post and that has not exactly worked for me. i have a wild imagination and i think its about time i explored it. I wanted to be a writer when i was younger but i didn't follow that up and although i lost it, i am forced to believe that all hope is not lost. i am attempting to revive my reading as well and writing ability and this blog would serve as a tool for that. I would write whatever suits me, no rules, no pattern, no nothing. To welcome myself back, I have decided to share an entry from my diary. The first and only thing i ever wrote in the diary. I never continue things, i stop half way and this would be a shot at consistency for me.
Here it goes:
 This was penned down on the 29th day of June, 2015. At night.
I got this book yesterday. I intended to get a diary  like i have for the past months or maybe years.
Diaries are expensive. unnecessarily expensive. I need leaves, sheets or whatever to pen down my thoughts. This one is a hard cover, less expensive and works just fine. i would have loved it better if the cover were black, grey or brown. This has a colour i am slightly unfamiliar with. it could be pink, peach, orange, a mixture, none aforementioned, i'm not sure but it's fine.
I will go take a shower now and if i feel the need to pen down my thoughts on anything, perhaps my day, I would do that as soon  as i am back.
I am back!!! I want to talk about me. This would be really difficult as i think there is a lot to me and at the same time i feel like i do not know me... so i might as well not talk about me and hope that by the time i fill these sheets with ink, i'll discover things; wonderful things about a whole lot of things, i could also improve my handwriting. It has gotten worse over the years to think that when i was a lot younger i was hoping to get older for my handwriting sake among many other things. I thought that the older a person, the better the handwriting. Boy was i wrong.
I just hope i fill up this sheets and not stop midway. That is the actual aim -- filling up the sheets and not giving up or halting like i know i most likely would.
STOP.
And that was it o. I wrote down my prayers that night and it was the last time i ever wrote on the pages of the book.
Join me in this Journey...
x

Do You Combine Rice and Banana as a Meal?

Rice and banana is a common combination here in Nigeria. Whether na jollof rice or white rice and stew, banana is a common accompaniment. People either peel off the back of as many bananas as they want, cut them in circular shapes and place it on top the rice or peel off the back of as many bananas as they want and place the fingers on the rice. Each spoon of rice is accompanied by banana in it's journey into the stomach.

Before I started this post I asked my neighbor randomly if she eats rice and banana and her reply was "yeeees, it's good". Some of you may not know this combo and I won't blame you. I'll just assume that you do not know a lot of other combinations people put into their stomach and since I am an extremely nice person sometimes, I will make a post and it would be titled "Naija Ridiculous Food Combinations". Help your ministry and look out for it.

Rice and Banana isn't ridiculous. It actually tastes really nice and many people do not know it's an unhealthy combination. Rice should not be eaten with banana. Fruits should totally not be eaten with food. They do not get along well. It might taste good to your mouth and your brain but not to your stomach. Your stomach and all it's tenants hate it. Lot's of evil happens in there when you mix fruits and food.

According you mindbodygreen.com, fruit should be eaten alone or with other fruit on an empty stomach. This is because when fruit is eaten, the digestive process works very quickly and our body uses different enzymes to digest the fruit. The simple sugars contained in fruit need time to be completely absorbed by your body. When fruits are eaten alone, your stomach can more easily process all of the nutrients, fibre and the simple sugars contained in the fruit. This is the optimal 'proper way' to benefit from the fruit you eat. If you eat fruit close to a meal, especially right after a larger meal and combine with other foods, it's held in the stomach too long along with other foods and will rot and ferment in the gut. If you experience indigestion, heartburn, burping and and other digestive discomforts and you blame on the meal - it could be the combination of the food, the fermentation with fruit that causes your upset stomach. If left uncontrolled it could lead to health problems that stem from the digestive tract.

Please, my fellow Countrymen, stop eating Rica and Banana. Eat banana and whatever fruit an hour or two before your rice or an hour or two after your rice.

Thank God It's Saturday!

Saturday is the day I thank God for. You can never imagine my love for Saturday. I don't let unnecessary and even necessary activities get into it. I try my best to settle whatever would make my Saturday a busy one on the weekdays. Saturday is the day I just chill and not give a f**k about the rest of the world. There are things my Saturday forbids.

° God forbid that I WASH on a Saturday.  I'd rather wash every piece I put on as soon as I get back from wherever the hell went to or even wash on Monday early mormor. 

°CLEANUP? Hell hot No! This sister isn't lifting a mop.

°VISIT A FRIEND? Hmmm, this one is a bit tricky. I could go out to wherever is happening hot if the evening is cool.  

°MAKE STEW? This Nigerian traditional Sunday meal stole from my Saturdays.  But that one is in the past. Back then I would make my stew for Sunday on Saturday with all the ginger and garlic in the world. But now? Mbanu! A sister's got to chill on a Saturday.

°GO TO THE MARKET? Capital letter NO! The market is the last place I want to be especially on a Saturday when I know the whole world would be there.

WORK OUT? Saturday is the day every Tom, Dick and Harry visits the stadium.  I don't even want to go deep into this one. Saturday just isn't my workout day.

Saturday is the day I can wake up, curled up in my bed and just blog about my Saturday. I can't wake up on Monday and talk about how EVIL Monday is. Saturday is the day I can be on the phone for as long as forever. I can never miss the chance for a gist on Saturday. I almost never miss the chance. Saturday is the day I have decided to always read a book. Saturday is recuperation day. Saturday is Bae. Saturday is my holy day. GOD bless Saturday.

What do you do and not do on Saturdays?

What Does Your Man and His Friends Talk About?

Did you just go off the phone with your man? Did you wonder what the loud laughter of Chidi, Kunle and Musa in the background was about? Have you ever asked your boo what he and his friends talk about and he simply says "random guy stuff, football and all?  Does it bothers you? Or are you just interested in finding out?

Oya keep going.

Many of us(ladies) always assume that all our man and his friends talk about is football and politics or perhaps they are busy on their game pads doing what they know how to do best-- play football. I don't know about you but I am marveled at how they do not grow out of that gaming thing. I am telling you this not just based on experience, but from words forced out of the horse's mouth that there is more. They say you cannot force a horse to drink but I have the necessary skill to make it open it's mouth to spit the juice I need. So, if you are interested in the juice I got then girl, you are at the right block. Hold your phone tight and relax with a chilled glass of your favourite drink. 

Cut long story short, our men talk about the following:

The taste of our food
Our unbearable side
Our physique
Our fashion sense.
Our favorite s** style
Our soundtrack(moan)
Yes!  It can get that nasty. Especially if your husband and his friends are notorious clowns.
They also talk about their love for us. Yup!

When there is a gathering of men, there  obviously is the talk of football, politics, general interest and beautiful as well as ugly talks about their women. It is a gathering to lament. It is a gathering to say all the mean things they can't say to our face because they do not want to hurt our feelings.

If you are a good cook, trust that your man brags about that to his friends. He is probably the star of the gathering because the bad cook suffers unending ridicule. They'd make fun of you especially if most of them have had a taste of your bad cooking. In the bid to explain to one who has never tasted your food, one of them would mention how he was tempted to run to the bathroom to throw up all he had eaten but didn't not just because of his love for "his nigga", but his love for you too. Yes! They don't make fun of you because they don't like you but because it makes their gathering a swell one. They'd go ahead to talk about that food Amanda cooked one certain time and how they wished they could have some of that-- they'd urge Amanda's man to make that happen again.

I'll stop here for today until I am in the mood to give you more gist about what your man and his friends talk about.

Is there something I didn't mention or shouldn't have mentioned? Please to let me know in the comment box.

Have That EX You Never Forget?

I have never used the word "EX" to refer to any boyfriend from the past. I find myself saying "My boyfriend from one year like that" then I go ahead to tell the year and also add that it didn't last. Yup! I'm that kind of girl.

Up until now,  I don't know what it means to have an Ex that one can never forget. I've forgotten my boyfriends from every year. Not in a bad way tho, because we still talk wella. I have forgotten them in the " You have this power over me" way.  I've forgotten them in the "we could get down whenever we meet" way.  I have totally forgotten them in the "we still have chemistry" way.  I am still disappointed that my girlfriend had "That ex she never forgot". Her story makes me inquisitive about how many other people have such a person in their lives. I am that girl that would never go back to a boyfriend from any year no matter how much of a hit that relationship was. I can't even have another fling with someone I had a fling with from previous years especially if I'm in a relationship or have fresh flings. I haven't forgotten my first love. That's a different ball game. I was little girl and who can forget that kind of innocent beautiful thing?

This girlfriend of mine had this very cool nigga in her life. I call him "the koko" because he was and still is the real deal. This guy was what a boyfriend should be. The way he treated her, I could poison her to have him and this babe is my boo from the 60s. He totally treated her right. It was glaring that he loved her and she loved  him just as much. You notice all the past tense? Good! That's because all that is in the past. She had the"we still have chemistry" syndrome with one of her Exes. She'd always say I love Marcus but I just cannot forget Ambrose. Yuck! I hate his name more than ever. Her words disgusted me like his name. I did not see the point of loving one person and remembering another person. What was she remembering him for? What was the special thing he did for/to her that she still can't forget? What did he have that the koko did not have? Why was she with the koko if he Ambrose was all that to her?  It vexed me when she told she was the one who broke things off with him. She claimed she didn't fit into his circle of friends. I wonder if she was dating him or his friends.

The koko broke things off with her because he came across a text message she didn't delete. One very romantic something Ambrose had sent to her. A message that showed she was giving him some of her good stuff.  She's been begging the koko to forgive her, take her back and all that. She even asked me to mediate. As the better pikin that I am, I tried my best, I called for a meeting and he showed up. I still have a clear picture of the koko sitting opposite me and the way I put the straw inside my chilled bottle of coke into my mouth when he said "Th, I don't go back to my Exes. It's like eating my own vomit". I held back my smile and was like "damn! Why I no poison this babe since?" And now there's the "We don't date our friend's Exes" code. Someone has gotta abolish them rules. I mean, my can't a girl work with referrals? Why does a girl have to start from scratch when she could have this. I was assistant girlfriend na, I could easily take girlfriend place. Oh well, scratch that!

My girlfriend has mentioned how much she misses the koko a couple of times and I wonder if the koko is the new ex she can't forget.  Did I mention that Ambrose is a stupid married man? 

Do you have that ex you never forgot? If you do, please let me know what you are remembering him or her for.

Rachel Dolezal is an Unrepentant Jonzer!

I Don't know the number of people who know Rachel Dolezal at the moment but I am certain she would be known by a greater number of people in a few months. She currently has a contract to write a book on her experience as a "Fake Black Woman".  Rachel is White but has posed to be Black over the years by wearing curly wigs,  applying dark shades of bronzers and lying.

Her quest to be black is not bad. I totally love it.  Be whatever the hell you want to be, it's your choice but when you start to fabricate stories on things like this, it becomes something else. This lady just thinks up things in her head and spits them out.  She reminds me of the character in the movie "Gone Girl" and the me of one year like that.

When I got into the university, I noticed a lot of people asked questions like "where are you from?" and I realized they asked the question because they assumed I wasn't an Igbo girl. Initially I'd just tell them and they would be like "wow! Are you serious? You don't look Igbo". This happened all the time. I am not exaggerating. Being the jonzer that I was and maybe still am, I decided to wow them more while amusing myself. I began to tell them I was from Ghana or Togo or Kenya and they believed all the time. They were always ready to hear something odd and I gave it to them real good. They'd start asking questions they did not know the answers to and I'd supply answers I knew sounded plausible. In that minute of madness, I made it a point of duty to chip in the truth after a while but on few occasions I never got the chance. They ended up finding out from other people or from me when they already considered it too late. Up until today,  I still find it hard convincing this people to believe what I say. They scrutinize everything that comes out of my mouth.  Na me cause am so I no fit blame them.

I read Rachel's biography. The woman lied about almost everything and she is opening up now because she family members are out to expose her lies. I cannot believe people are taking her seriously. I personally cannot take her seriously. She is a master at fabrication and I am certain she would use her craft in writing a book on a subject of much importance as race. The book will have all she knows you want to hear. She is an unrepentant jonzer.

What the Hell did They Think of Themselves?

One very good day or should I say bad day? I was lying jejely on my bed reading Bret Ellis Easton's Less Than Zero when a friend stepped in and asked if I was interested in making avocado oil. We are growing our natural African woolly hair.  If you know about natural hair maintenance you'd know that oil is key to having not just beautiful but healthy hair and this oils are usually expensive.  So, there's the craze to always try out new things and just DIY. YouTube is always our friend and it urged us to make our own avocado oil. I was interested. I followed my friend to her room.

After much hard work and time invested,  we were able to produce two drops of avocado oil from 12 avocados I left for my room at about 8:15PM to get a can for my own drop. I unlocked the padlock and the staple fell off. Chineke! There was trouble. Someone or some people who were probably born by mistake, someone who unfortunately escaped being aborted had broken into my room. The room I occupied with three other girls. My clothes were out of my box. The wardrobes lock were broken, the doors were wide open. The whole room was upsidedown. I was mad. I walked into my corner, looked into my wardrobe and saw the tool they used in breaking everything and I regretted being in Nigeria instantly. If I was in the USA that tool would seal the thief's fate.  

Before I continue,  I have to apologize to my favourite person, the one after my heart for telling him bluntly that I didn't want to go to America when he jokingly suggested it. Darling, I'll travel to America with you over and over again. God bless America!

So, this idiots came to steal from me and my roommates, four broke ass girls.  They made away with two power banks and little amount of money. The odds were on our side though. People lose things like laptops, phones and huge sums of money and trust me when I hide my Money, You need the blood of the lamb to find it. My pain is why they took the #500 in my bag and the #300 in my roommate's purse but left the #60 naira in my bag,  #30 on my table and #10 in my roommate's purse.  What the hell?  You stole a hundred naira note!  Why the hell are you leaving the change?  You dey claim class?  You no dey thief change?  I just wonder what they did think of themselves.

PS: I am never making avocado oil myself. I totally respect whatever pricetag it carries.